Tonight, a very simple but real tangible thought, I am thankful.

Just a bit earlier this evening I received a message from the father of one of Elizabeth's friends.  Elizabeth's friend was sad for her; sad in a way that was lasting and persistent.  She said that Elizabeth had shared lots of things with her about losing and missing her mom.  The father felt as though he had to share some of these things with me in confidence.  He said that he felt God prompt him to do so.  Tears flooded my eyes instantly.  My heart was both equally burdened and lightened.  It killed me that Elizabeth felt as though she couldn't share some of these things with me.  I know why she doesn't.  In her innocent and noble little mind, she tries to protect me from hurt.  She loves me deeply and to a large degree, I am all she has left on this planet.  I love that little girl more than I know how to say or describe.  Receiving that message earlier also lightened my heart for my constant prayer for each of my girls is that God would help me to know what they are going through and where they are at in their grieving process.  I also pray that God would comfort them in ways impossible for me.  God in all of his goodness and faithfulness and love is doing just that through a little girl who I am so grateful for tonight.  I am grateful for her friendship with my daughter.  More so, I am grateful to God for creating that opportunity.


Coincidentally, maybe, it was Elizabeth's turn to sleep with me.  They rotate every night and each take their turn.  We had a good, deep, eye-to-eye talk.  I listened as she talked through tears.  I heard her heart and found where she was at.  She told me that she has been dreaming about Marianne lately.  Each of the dreams she described were essentially the same.  In each one the details were a little different, but every time, she lost Marianne and couldn't do anything about it.  She asked me how I felt about losing Marianne so suddenly without being able to say good bye.  I could tell she just missed her and wanted to say so.  She also asked how I felt being alone now.  I smiled and told her that I am not alone.  God blessed me with three amazing little girls.  We talked and shared funny memories.  She started to fall asleep in conversation.  I thanked God for that opportunity to help him restore peace in her thoughts.

Friends, there are certainly challenging days ahead of me and my girls.  Of the three of them, I am concerned with Emily most often.  She is not as open yet.  She talks but there are limits with Emily.  She hides behind a beautiful smile.  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  I am fully confident that God will continue to navigate us through, but the challenges will also continue to be very real.  Pray for the hearts of my little girls that they might be comforted and always warmed by God's good love. 

This month makes one year since Marianne died.